do you mind if i knit

I've got a website !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello I'm so excited can't quite believe it I've got a website!

Yes, a website!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And it's all thanks to Hugo, who has spent many, many hours labouring over it. It wouldn't have happened without him, and he's done a FANTASTIC job, just superb, I'm so thrilled with the results.

Would you like to go and have a look? It became live this afternoon.

If you click here, you'll go straight through to it.

I've got some abstract paintings for sale, and a small number of still lives. Though at the moment, most of the still lives aren't for sale, because I'm thinking of getting giclee prints made of some of them. 

There are some still life paintings there you haven't seen yet, and some new abstracts I've been keeping hidden.

Getting giclee prints made is a very pricey endeavor, so needs to be approached with great caution, but the results are amazing, it's like looking at the original.

Whilst I'm starting to look into the giclee prints, I also want to do a bit more looking into our garden, and start sharing it with all those birds who think it's their private territory.

Today I did actually step out into the garden to make some contact with the plants. It feels like I've been away from the garden for a long time. Everything is suddenly springing into action, it feels like it's happened over-night. Buds, blossom, pale green new growth, it's all happening without me.

Before I started this blog about two-and-a-half years ago, a lot of my time was devoted to the garden. I watched every little growth spurt on every plant with great interest. Roses would be de-aphidised by hand. (This involves squashing, and smeary green fingers).

Whenever I step into the garden now, I feel like I'm returning to a bygone era of my life. I feel slightly wistful about all that time I had for my garden.

Things change and evolve, my garden is quite happy without me standing over it all the time, the birds are even happier. Now I look at my garden from the window in my studio, because that's where I spend a lot of my time now. When I had my studio in the garden, I would walk through a bit of the garden to get to the studio, so I was much more in touch with how it was getting on.

That's life, isn't it? Things change! And here I am now, with a website. How things do change.

vanessacabban.com sounds so grown up, so professional, so exciting.  (And if you've got any suggestions for making the website better, I'd love to hear them, thank you).

We've got some pals coming over for supper this evening, just informal, an excuse to spend the evening together over some nosh, nothing fancy. So I'll be off, (oh, and just before I forget, thank you so much for all the links to jam jar lid sources you gave me, they were fantastic!), have a wonderful weekend, ta-ra for now. Love Vanessa xxx

A sunny weekend, yes, sunny!

We had a sunny weekend, aaaallllllll weekend, this weekend just gone, it was glorious.

Hope I don't sound like I'm boasting here, it's just that it's so unusual for these parts, that I had to tell you about it.

There was the odd walk on the beach, but other than that I had my nose to the grind stone, and worked most of the weekend. Good thing I enjoy it, or it would be tortuous, especially when the sun has been shining our way.

I thought I might take this opportunity to show you some paintings I've been doing over the last month.

I've been working very hard to make work to go in a gallery and a florist.

On Saturday, we dropped some pictures into the gallery, and the owner, Jenny, seemed delighted, which was fantastic. Now they've just got to sell haven't they?!

Hugo has been working very hard at the framing for me, so very hard. I'm so fortunate to have a husband who wants my paintings to be a success, and who wants to help me with the whole endeavor.

We've both been burning the candle lately, but at one end only, the work end, not the play end. Our weekends exist largely of me sitting in my studio, painting away, and Hugo next door, cutting mountboard, backing board and glass, sanding frames, treating them with lime wax, and fixing the fixings. Still, hopefully all this hard work will start to bear some fruit soon.

I've been painting the larger watercolours in the mosaics you saw earlier, and then I've been doing these small pictures, some of which I think could go in my etsy shop, framed up, to sell. What do you think?

I feel like I have two jobs at the moment, one as an illustrator, and at the same time I'm holding down a job as a painter of abstracts and still lives. Funny how things change, isn't it? I used to only ever think of myself as an illustrator.

This new found pattern has come as a bit of a surprise to me.

And this last picture above is just to have a little breather from the abstracts.

It's all framed up, and ready to roll............... not sure where to yet.

Hugo's just walked in the door from work, put the supper on to cook, and said "Right!"

Apparently that means we're now going to start work on my website. WEBSITE! So exciting, and all down to Hugo, his little baby this one.

I know, I'm ridiculously fortunate to have such a wonderful person as my husband. I know. (And apparently he's very impressed with how I've been open to being pushed a bit, that is, pushed in the direction of approaching galleries, and poking my nose out of my little studio and into the big wide world).

So I'd better sign off and get to work on the website with Hugo. The plan is to sell some of my paintings from it.

So cheerio! Lovely to see you. So long, till Wednesday.

Love Vanessa xxx

Knitting and painting.

We just got back from the beach! A nice long walk with the doggies. I'm so fortunate to be able to say that, I know. Our beaches might generally be cold and windswept, but that means they're sparsely populated. Always nice to have the beach largely to ourselves.

Tonight it was a balmy (for us) evening, and the beach was a gentler than usual place, it was glorious. We strolled, picked up pebbles, watched the dogs telling any other dogs on the beach, that the beach is their territory, and then we saw a couple of little boats launch, and potter around, looking charming, with their coloured sails.

What a charming evening it is. I can hear the birds trilling away outside, the sky is still light, and the garden is starting to stir. Lovely.

Would you like to see how my knitted dress is progressing? Yes?!

The gap between the panels of the skirt will be sewn up at the end. (One lady at my knitting group, thought I was going to have a huge great big split up the middle of my skirt).

The pattern seems to be for a very tall lady, and I'm not tall, so I'm customising my dress a bit. I've dicovered I have quite a short torso, which surprised me. I didn't realise it was THAT short. I don't really have much of a waist as it happens. I've always known I'm a boxy straight sort of shape, I just didn't realise my torso is so short. Unfortunately that doesn't mean I have miles of leg to compensate. Never mind, I'll make do with what I've got, I'm quite happy enough really.

So that means, not only am I making the torso section shorter, I've also not decreased as much as the pattern tells me to on the waist.

Thought I might show you a painting I'm working on at the moment too. It's been sitting in my studio for a couple of weeks, and I keep on looking at it, and umming and ahhing, mulling over my next move on it. I'm hoping to be able to finish it, or at least work on it, this weekend.

So there we go, that's me.

I'm itching to get on with my knitting, so I hope you don't mind if I slink off now.

Have a good weekend, I hope you get to do whatever it is you want to do this weekend, and get the weather you're hoping for too. I'm hoping to get the weather I'm hoping for too! Cheerio. Love Vanessa xxx

A browse through some new paintings.

Hello! Thought I'd take a break from work to pop in and say hello. AND show you some new paintings.

The paintings I did for the two commissions I completed.

The two ladies who commissioned me, are friends with each other, and they have similar tastes, and maybe even similar coloured furnishings in their homes, if the colours they specified for their pictures are anything to go by.

With my illustration background, and being used to having to work to someone elses specifications, it came very naturally to me to go along with their colour requests.

That's something I would be happy to do in the future, if someone wanted me to work with their favourite colours, or certain colours they had in mind, I think it could lead to some interesting results.

The two commissions were to do two sets of four small paintings, in the colours I've used in all these paintings. The ladies want to frame each one individually, and have a set of four paintings on their walls.

That was something interesting that came out of the commission, the idea of doing a set of four paintings, that would sit well with each other to make a pleasing whole.

So! On Thursday, off I went, armed with four sets of four paintings, so that there would be plenty for them to choose from.

I made sure I looked presentable, because I felt like I was going to an important meeting.

And I felt surprisingly calm, considering my previous nagging feeling that there was the potential they might not be happy with them.

In my experience, expect the unexpected.

On Thursday, the unexpected thing was that only one of the ladies could make it to our meeting, because one of them is very poorly.

One of the ladies was at the appointed meeting place, fortunately, and so I could show her the paintings. I was hugely relieved that she liked them.

Phew.

The paintings she chose are the set of four in the photo above, which surprised me, because I didn't think this set would be chosen. As soon as she saw them, she said, they're the one's. You can never, ever know who is going to choose what, I'm learning that very quickly.

The rest of the paintings are going to the other lady's house, where she can make her choice at her leisure.

The first lady was very pleased with her choice of paintings, which was wonderful but strange, as I'd told myself to not be surprised if they were rejected.

So isn't it wonderful that the paintings were so well received! I hope the second lady finds it equally easy to choose her set of four paintings.

I've been nose to the grindstone all day, (with too much drinking of tea going on), and it's nice to have a break and come and say hello. 

The only thing about working very intensely, is the fuzzy side-effect, and the inability to think about anything else other than work. So now I've come to the end of talking about work, I don't know what else to say, I've drawn a blank..............Oh, Ellie's kennel cough has gone, but Douglas now has it, and is coughing a lot, poor little thing. They don't seem the least bit perturbed about the lack of walks, due to them having to stay indoors. I think that's Dachshunds for you, they are a little lazy. I think their idea of the good life is lying infront of a wood fire whilst being fed tid-bits, not moving their little legs.

Well, I'm going to wish you a happy Easter, and hope you have a wonderful weekend. Take care, and cheerio. Love Vanessa xxx

They've gone and changed colour!!!!!!

What can you do hey?! My Primulas have changed colour! When I bought them, they were flowering lovely hot pinks and and shades of reds, and now they're coming up all pale and interesting. Hmph.

They used to look like this:

See what I mean about the change in colour?!!!!!

Is it something I've done to them?

Is it psychological warfare on me by the Primys, for not having potted them up sooner?

I'm really sorry sweet little flowers, I know I neglected you terribly, but please change back to your previous colours, because to be honest, I don't find your new colours do it for me.

I'll give them some plant food, that might do the trick.

Hello!

What a start to this post hey?!

I must admit, I do wonder what on earth I've been doing all day, so I'm not only exasperated with my Primulas, I'm exasperated with myself. I don't like days that disappear like smoke, leaving a dismal trace of nothingness.

You see the photos above, the one's with the paper and my abstract paintings? I've been trying out new watercolour papers for my abstracts. I get my paper in large mill packs from a company called John Purcell Paper, and it's much cheaper than buying from art shops, even on-line art shops. They sent me lots of samples of thicker paper, made by different companies, and I've been using them to do some paintings on, to see the results. It's amazing how different the results are, though you can't see it in my photos. Out of all these different samples, there is only one contender, and even that one's not perfect, so the paper company are sending me another sample, something between the ultra smooth and too textured samples they have already given me.

And you see the bright pink primula in the mosaic above? Well, that is my little miracle primula, the one that I bought cheap because it was half dead. Patience has to be classed as a virtue, because after about a month and a half of doing nothing but looking very sorry for itself, it's suddenly started to flower BEAUTIFULLY!

Hugo and I are out tonight, to see a comedy show. Hugo bought the tickets, so I'm not sure who the comedian is. The doggies will be left by themselves, and they are not going to be happy about it. For such small dogs, they can howl.

I'm afraid I've got to go now, as we have to eat before rushing out, which is most unsatisfactory that I have to rush off. See you on Monday my dear readers. Love Vanessa xxx

The gym attendance that never was, plus some paintings.

Hello! You well? I hope so............. well and happy.

I didn't have my second attempt at a gym induction last night, I cancelled it about midday. Having had a week to mull it over, I came to the conclusion that the instructor's style wasn't for me, and my on-going unease about returning, after what happened last time, meant I was actually scared of going back. I mean, in the first induction, his exercises had me feeling so dizzy and sick (because he totally ignored me when I said I am atrociously unfit), so dizzy that I had to lie down on the gym floor several times (after trying to keep on going), so unable to stand up that I wasn't fit to drive home, and after all that, I've only just started to get back to normal. Plus, the gym is a huge industrial unit, it's not heated, and the temperature outside these last few days has been very low, so the gym will be freezing, not neccessarily a good environment for exercising in. (!).

So that was a brief attempt at going to the gym, wasn't it?! I will still try to eat healthily though, I can attempt to do that bit.

That's my marvelous gym regime totally down the pan.

(And I'm finding I don't really care about it one bit, which is a very nice, rebellious feeling!).

So shall we move on to what I hope is a more interesting subject matter than gym attendance?! Some abstract paintings I've been working on over the last few weeks.

I've really been getting into the stride of these watercolours, enjoying them a lot, and progressing I think. I feel I know where I'm going with them much more now. There have been a few pieces rejected along the way, as I've been finding my footing, so I thought I'd show you the one's I kept, that didn't go in the bin.

I'm enjoying exploring colour, and finding it fascinating to see the effects of layering one colour over the other.

When I first started doing these paintings, there was an element of happy accident in them, because I was trying things out. Composition came second to the colour. But now, the placing of these shapes is equal in importance to the colours I use. When they're finished, they look balanced.

There is much less of an element of 'chance' in these latest paintings, which makes me feel less puzzled by them.

Before, I worried that they were just doodles, but I think they've progressed to something more serious now.

And then there's the influence they're having on my illustrations. When I was working on my roughs for the new mole book the other day, I caught myself thinking of the compositions in abstract terms, which took me by surprise, it just sneaked up on me. I had a group of animals drawn on the paper, and a sudden flash of seeing them as one shape occurred, and I found myself thinking that there was a nice shape on the page. So funnily enough, my abstract pictures seem to be influencing my illustrations.

For me, this is all rather exciting, it makes my work feel fresh, as though things are happening, changes taking place. I really like that I don't quite know how things are going to develop.

And working with all this colour is a joy!

This one above is slightly larger than the others I've been showing you. At the moment, I'm finding I feel more comfortable working on a smaller scale, and for some reason, in a square shape.

So there we go, one last shot of colour, before I go off for my supper, and then off to Wednesday night knitting.

Thank you so much for all your very lovely comments on my last post, and all your support and concern on my Friday post, over my little gym incident. I'm feeling so much better now, especially after not having returned to the gym! I think walking the dogs, and healthier eating is probably more my cup of tea, much more gentle. So, yes, a big thank you for your kindness. It's the most incredibly positive thing to receive such kindness from people I've never met physically, and only know through the miracle that is blogging. It does feel amazing that you care, just amazing. Thank you.

So I'll see you on Friday then? Yes? Fantastic! I look forward to it. Love Vanessa xxx

Doesn't time fly!

I just looked at my watch, and did a double take, it's six in the evening, and I'm just sitting down to say hello to you, where has the day gone!

Did you have a good weekend? I hope so. Ours was a very simple weekend really, just walking the dogs, I did some work on my paintings, and Hugo tried to find things around the house to put on e-bay, to make some extra cash. I had to keep a close eye on him.

I thought you might like to see a before-and-after, with one of my paintings. I showed you the above watercolour a few weeks ago, and since then, I've been working on it. I worried that it looked unfinished, and you can be the judge of whether I've ruined it or not, because this is the painting now:

Personally, I prefer this painting after having worked into it more, it just looks more substantial, but you might disagree with me!

I'm so pleased you all liked my last post so much, I did enjoy that massive shot of colour, and glad you liked it too. So when it came to today's post, I was in two minds about it. It's starting off nice and colourful, with the photos of my painting, but I'm just about to launch into showing you pictures of our weekend walks, which are much less colourful. I prefer to put up colour filled posts, but our walks this weekend were so lovely, I thought I'd show you the photos. So be prepared for a sudden drop in cheery colour, because we woke up to a thin covering of snow on the ground on Saturday morning, so the landscape was quite powdery white.

Even the beach had snow on it. But the day was bright as a shiny new button, and the effect of the sun made us feel happy. The dogs were running round like puppies, I love that happy body language of dogs, it's so endearing.

That was our morning walk.

After going home from the beach, doing some work on my paintings, and having a quick read of the paper, it was soon the afternoon, and the light was beautiful.

And it was still light! The days are definitely getting longer, yipee!

So we went off for another walk, by the river. Inland there was more snow on the ground, but the sun was still warm. The evening light was soft. I love that soft light.

We crossed Chain Bridge, (that's it's name), and walked along the opposite bank.

It was still, you know? Peaceful, noone else around. I love having the countryside to myself. Here in the North East of England, we get deserted beaches and countryside, which must seem like a miracle to people from more heavily populated areas. When I first moved here from London almost ten years ago, I couldn't believe how deserted the roads were of cars, now I take it a bit for granted. Well, until we drive to more populated areas, then I know just how fortunate we are.

On the other side of the river, the footpath is lined with intermitent stone walls, which you can get a nice clear view of, because the trees are bare at the moment. These hand-built walls are extraordinary, don't you think? Works of art I think.

Can you feel the chill in the air, in these photos?!

When taking these photos, behind me was the river, with its banks full of the dried stems of giant, Cow Parsley, I think that's what it was.

Hugo found the most spectacularly large hollow stem of the stuff.

And Hugo did what boys do, he made it into a piece of technical equipment, a Telescope.

Well, I then thought that it would be interesting to see what the dogs would make of it.

Douglas made it perfectly clear that he was very uncomfortable looking down a tube. (Shame I didn't think of using a treat to get him to look at me).

Ellie was the perfect little performer, and I managed to get one photo that wasn't blurred, of her little beady eye looking at me.

Ellie is more of a natural infront of the camera. Douglas would rather hide from anything remotely odd looking, or even anything that isn't odd looking.

Well, I hope you enjoyed the excursion? I'm off now, to do what, I don't know. Maybe some knitting? Yes, some knitting, after I've lit the wood burning stove, it's cold in here. So I'll see you on Wednesday then? Yes? Goody! Love Vanessa xxx

I like sitting down all day.

(Yes Hugo, I have helped myself to one of the chocolates I gave you for Valentines, thank you very much, it was delicious). These sort of things always happen when Hugo is safely at work, and he always finds out, so I thought I might as well admit to this pilfering immediately. Unfortunately it's also got to go on my list of things I've eaten today, so the guy at the gym can have a good nosy at my eating habits. So tempting to leave this lapse of healthy eating off my list.

Actually, this good eating is proving to be bad for my health. I don't like eating healthily, and I don't like going to the gym, both of which I've done this week. My attempt at having an induction into an exercise routine on Tuesday morning, turned out to be just that, an attempt. After doing only three of the exercises, I felt so dizzy and sick, I think I must have had some sort of fainting fit, the instructors voice was coming to me as though I was under water, and I couldn't stand up. (That's somewhere between dizzy and fainting I suppose). Hugo had to be called, whilst he was at work. He then had to be given a lift up to the gym, and then he drove me home in our car. (I thought this was better than having a car crash, due to dizzyness).

The whole thing was bizarre. The poor instructor. And that's why I didn't do my Wednesday post, because I've been feeling most 'odd'. Anyway, if things get any more odd, I might think about visiting the doctor. I don't like visiting the doctor either. I've booked another induction at the gym for Tuesday evening next week, and I'm dreading it. Actually, I feel sick and dizzy every time I think about it.

So why the attempt to eat healthily and do exercise? Well, it's not because I think I'm fat, I see myself as quite alright. No it's my clothes. I cannot afford to buy more clothes as I get heavier. I don't have an excuse for not fitting into my clothes, like "I've just had a baby". Anyway, you wouldn't think it from the way I've just been rattling on, but I really don't like talking about things like weight loss, I'd rather such things could be ignored, but they can't can they? Uuugghh, it's just horrible, the whole subject, mainly because when I start to think about it, I also suddenly start to think about the glass of wine I used to have of an evening, the raiding of Hugo's chocolate stash I used to do on a regular basis, the enjoyment I used to get from food. The first two of these three things are totally not on now. Uuugghhh.

It's better if I ban myself from talking about this subject, for my sanity, and for your continued visits to my blog!

So, what have I been up to this week, apart from the thing I'm banned from talking about.

Well, I've been the extremely fortunate recipient of a wonderful gift, made with lots of love and care, by Penny. Penny has a blog which I enjoy enormously. She's having a new studio built for herself at the moment, which I'm following with great interest, and she's got a very special doggy, named Higgins, (a smooth haired Miniature Dachshund), who I'm plotting to dog-nap sometime. You can find all her interesting goings-on in her blog, Planet Penny, here. Penny is a very generous person too, because she sent me a gift she made, and this is not a five minute handmade gift, this is an hours-and-hours of lots of detail handmade gift.

Here are some of the details I'd like you to see, before I show you this doll Penny made me, in all her glory. The little crochet jacket, un-buttons! Every element of this doll is individually made and pieced together, from the parts of the body, the arms, the legs, the skirt, the cardigan, the hat, bag, shoes, everything is made separately, and carefully sewn and pieced together.

I appreciate this sort of loving detail enormously.

And here she is! I've named her Lettice. Penny entrusted me with giving her a name, which was nice of her, as I love old fashioned names like Lettice. (I was talking to a fellow dog walker a few months ago, and one of her dogs was called Lettice, which is superb! I so wanted our girl dog Ellie, to have a change of name, to Lettice).

When Lettice emerged out of her special handmade fabric bag for the first time, I couldn't believe my eyes. Such generosity. There is a lot of generosity in blogland, isn't there?

Lettice is now sitting in my studio keeping watch over the comings and goings.

Apart from this week being dominated by work, I have been doing some knitting and painting. I've been painting these scarlet Anemones, above.

Red Anemones have such zing!

This is how things stand with this painting at the moment, as a work-in-progress. When I started it last Saturday, I almost gave up on it, I just didn't like it at all. But I persevered, and I'm glad I did. The background suddenly brought it to life, and I'm looking forward to putting the shadows in, I think that will transform it.

I'm meant to be putting all these paintings I'm doing into my etsy shop, but something is stopping me, I just don't want to let go of them yet.

I sold this painting above, last week, before putting it in my etsy shop, but I think I'll hang on to the others for a while.

So anyway, where was I? Paintings............. Anemones............... ah yes, that brings me round to something that happens to me, that I quite enjoy. Certain colours I'm painting with, influencing other things, like my crochet or knitting, or vice versa.

Like these crochet corsages, influencing my baking! Yes, my baking.

You see what I mean above? I made these corsages last summer I think, whilst getting interested in making cupcakes (which sadly has ceased to be an activity I do, due to expansion of my waistline, due to over consumption of yummy cupcakes). I suddenly realised, after I'd made the cupcakes, that they were similar colours to my crochet.

This time it seems my painting influencing my choice of colours for my new knitting project.

See what I mean?

My original choice of colour combination was the duck-egg blue with the sage green, above, but it didn't feel right, and the feeling was nagging me, so I had a re-think.

Now it's red instead of green, which just happens to be a dominant colour in the painting I'm working on at the moment.

D'you want to see the pattern I've started knitting up? Yes? Oh good!

When I saw the dress above, in the book "A stitch in Time", by Jane Waller and Susan Crawford, I just had to have it, and the only way to possess this dress is to knit it.

I'm not going multi-coloured for this dress, I'm sticking to the two colours only, which is a bit of a novel experience, as you'll see in the following photos showing some of my past projects.

The hottie cover above, recently finished.

The scarf above, recently finished, (but the reveal yet to come)....................

The Little Squares Scarf, (all finished, and the pattern recently published, a few blog posts back) ....................

The Sarah London Scarf, (gifted to Hen, and in the waiting line for a pattern to be written up)................

The Sisterhood crochet blanket, (all finished, pattern in my left-hand side bar)..............

The Granny zig-zag scarf, (finished, waiting to be revealed, and also in line for writing up of pattern).....................

Yep, lots of lovely colour! And now, just two colours.....................
These two colours. I love the duck egg blue, it's Patons Diploma Gold 4ply, only available in the 4ply, not the DK, which always bugs me, because I would use it in the DK if it was available. The crimson colour is also Patons Diploma Gold 4ply.

So yes, it's all about red and blue at the moment, and I'm enjoying it a lot.

When I'm sitting at my desk, working away at the roughs for my new mole book, I look at the red Anemones, and I wish they'd last forever. Maybe it's a good thing they don't last forever, or I'd be forever in the grip of their lipstick red charms, and not interested in any other colours, they are mesmerising.

I'm going to love you and leave you now, supper is almost ready, judging by the smells wafting my way................. have a good weekend, hope you enjoy it, and see you on Monday! Love Vanessa xxx

I was just thinking..............

Hello dear readers, and welcome to a new week, full of possibilities (I like to think).

So much better to start the week positively, isn't it?

I was thinking about you all, as I sat down to do my blog, and I was thinking about me.

I was thinking, "I wonder if it's o.k. to thank you all again for your helpful and encouraging comments about my new work?" Am I over-doing it by thanking you all the time, and will it become mundane? Then I thought "Naaahhh, I'll thank all my dear readers as much as I want, because when ever I do, it's from the heart".

You're all nurturing me, like watering a seedling, and I'm starting to stretch my leaves and grow. Your comments have made a huge difference to my confidence, huge. I feel excited about my paintings, and eager to know what you think. I can genuinely say that you are helping me to grow, really, really, honestly grow! Thank you so much, thank you so, so much!

So it was with my paintings in mind, that I asked my Father-in-Law, Alan, for some more Snowdrops. Alan very kindly dug up a huge clump for me, and gave me some moss too, which was a nice added touch. I then went home and broke the clump into smaller bits, and potted them up into cups and bowls. That's a messy business. Soil everywhere.

What is it about bulbs planted in cups and bowls that's so pleasing?! And that added touch of the moss covering the soil, just so pretty!

I'm always a bit over optimistic with my acquisition of flowers for my still lives, I buy too many, thinking I'll be able to paint them all before they wilt and die. I think I must have been born with the belief that achieving the unachievable is attainable. Even when I repeatedly don't attain the unattainable, I still believe I'll attain it the next time.

Perhaps it's just optimism. 

So, yes, I'm optimistic that I'll be painting each and every one of these cups and bowls planted up with Snowdrops.

I'm optimistic about doing all that painting, even though I have a freshly cut pile of paper, sitting on my desk. This pile of paper, cut to size, is ready for me start drawing on it. That's the first thing I do, before starting the rough drawings for a book I'm illustrating, cut the paper to size.

I'm starting on a new mole book, the fifth in the series. Even though I know mole and his friends, and where they live, from the previous four books I've illustrated, I always have a panic before starting a new book. "I don't know if I'm capable of doing this," always runs through my mind. It's much worse when I'm doing a book where I have to start from scratch with the characters and setting. Infact, maybe I shouldn't be thinking about it, because I'm starting to perspire with anxiety.

It will be fine once I start drawing, and get to know my pal mole again, and his friends.

Still, there's always an element of horror at the start of a new book project! Strange, isn't it.

When I'm working, I sit at a desk, which I'm always telling myself is much too small.

"My desk really is much too small".

Sometimes, I look at my desk, and smile, because I'm reminded of an acquaintance who visited my studio. She was horrified at my desk. When I'm drawing, I prop the board up on the cardboard box you can see in the picture above, so I'm not bending over my work too much. The horrified lady was insistent that I needed a 'proper' desk, like architects use. And when I say insistent, I mean INSISTENT. I have to say, she was banging her head against a brick wall, because that cardboard box is the PERFECT height to lean my board on. Plus, I've been using that cardboard box since the first moment I started illustrating professionally, twelve years ago. So of course, my desk wouldn't feel quite right without that cardboard box helping me on my way. That cardboard box will be going out with me when I'm in a box.

Still, my desk is too small. I really must get a bigger desk. A bigger studio too. That would be nice. When I see photos of artists in their factory sized studios, in glossy magazines, I always think, "they've made it, they're successful, they've got a nice big studio". If I ever get a nice big studio, I will have a great big sofa in it, and a huge desk, and fantastic storage for all my materials. I remember visiting the studio of an artist on the Island of Westray, one of the Orkney Islands. It was beautiful, and big, and it had a flag-stone floor with under-floor heating. There was a huge stone sink, walls lined with cupboards and sets of drawers, and a view to the sea, through lots of windows. I felt physical pain when I saw it, I wanted that studio to be mine so very badly.

There was another studio I saw once which provoked a similar pain filled response, in Yorkshire, in the hills above a valley. It wasn't inhabited when I saw it, I think it had just finished being built. It was a reasonably large size, built of honey coloured stone, with sky lights, and floor to ceiling glass at the front, plain white interior walls, all looking out onto the valley that stretched away into the distance below. I had been looking for a spot to eat my sandwiches, so I parked at the bottom of the driveway full of builder's rubble, and ate my sandwiches staring at the view, trying not to get indigestion whilst thinking about the studio behind me, not belonging to me.

We must all have our dreams, musn't we?

But for the moment, I am concentrating on the idea of squeezing in everything I want to do today. Over the weekend I started a new painting, and it needs to be finished before the flowers crumble. So I think I shall go and transform my small desk from illustration work mode, to painting still lives work mode. After I've made a cup of tea and eaten those last chocolate segments Hugo has foolishly left in the cupboard.

So I shall see you again on Wednesday, when I hope to be in a frame of mind where my world consists largely of little animal characters, who have little personalities, and whom I'm besotted with. That will mean I've got over my initial anxiety over starting a new book, and am well and truly engrossed in it!

Ta-ra for now. Love Vanessa xxx

I've been a busy bee.

Hello! And happy Friday. That's something I always feel I should greet you with on a Friday afternoon. It's that time of the week where you don't know for sure what the next two days hold for you. Not like the week, when things have more of a rythmn. I always have a feeling of "ooh, lots of relaxing, lie-ins, no plans", followed by, "but think of all the things that I could get done". Generally, the first sentiment wins.

Well, dear readers, I hope you'll be relaxing, being happy and eating nice things over your weekend. But before you go off to enjoy yourselves, may I show you what I've been up to in the painting department?

Yes? Thank you!

Well, there's the picture I started this post with. A red abstract. Inspired by Kate from Greedy for Colour blog, who has a passion for red, which I admire. For me, there is something interesting about someone who loves the colour red. It's such a strong colour, almost like black.

Then there's this grey abstract I did, which I find calming to look at.

I've experimented with giving these abstracts titles, but then, after lots of umming and aaahhing, I decided against it. What was interesting about all your wonderful comments, about my abstracts in Monday's post, was that you all saw something different in each one. I feel that giving them titles imposes. When I look at this picture above, I think of snow falling, or a puddle of water. You might think differently, and find my interpretation spoils the picture for you.

That exact thing happened to Hugo and I once. We were admiring a print for sale, and thought it was exquisite. Then we looked at the title, and it was something along the lines of 'inside your arteries'. Prior to that, it had been beautiful and fascinating. After reading the title, it was, quite frankly, gross.

I had a title for this one above, written at the bottom of the image, then I rubbed it off.

I'm not sure what to do about titles for these abstract paintings. I don't really like numbers as titles, which is what some people do for their abstracts. I wondered about just having a date in the bottom left hand corner? What do you think? Any suggestions?

Then there's the painting above. It's somewhere inbetween the abstracts and the still lives. I find I can paint in a similar way to when I paint the abstract pictures, but they have recognisable objects in them, and there's something quite satisfying about bringing the still lives and the abstracts together in one painting.

Do you remember me showing you the painting above? I said it wasn't finished, there were things I was unhappy with.

Well, it's now finished.

And it's become this:

It's got shadows now, and I chopped off some of the left-hand side. I think that the eye was darting all over the place before, and now it's more restful to look at.

There you go, you can see it better now. I also got rid of that violent green at the top, softened it a bit, now it doesn't jump out at you.

I mentioned that I was painting the snowdrops my father-in-law gave me, last week. Well, here it is, above, not quite resolved yet. Bit of work still to do, not much, but a bit.

And here we have a not-quite-finished tea cup with Primulas.

Now, this one above, this one I'm painting with the paintbrush, straight on to the paper, no pencil to guide me. I like to work this way, not having a pencil line makes the painting of it exciting, and there's something about the quality of the watercolour that I like. I'm painting like I do when I paint my abstracts, but there's a definite subject matter. And before you ask, that is a Cath Kidston mug, (sort of).

I see this painting, and the next one, as very happy pictures.

This one above is not finished, but I'm happy with it so far. I'll show it to you when it's finished.

So there you go, lots to look at! I haven't been working on the book I've started illustrating, this week, the paintings have taken over completely. I'm gripped by them. I feel like I'm on a roll, and don't want to stop.

But I must start the book I'm illustrating, and not allow myself to be distracted. Monday I'll start.

So me hearties, I smell our supper, coming from the kitchen, and there's been a warning, "supper's almost ready", from the chef. His worshipfulness. Better go or I'll be in trouble. Goody, it's stir fry, I like stir fry. Have a lovely weekend, and see you on Monday! Love Vanessa xxx